Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Power of Keith

GEORGE: look at this guy. Does he have to stretch in here?
JERRY: You know who that is? That's
GEORGE: Keith Hernandez? The baseball player?
JERRY: Yeah, that's him.
GEORGE: Are you sure?
JERRY: Positive.
GEORGE: Wow, Keith Hernandez. He's such a great player.
JERRY: Yeah, he's a real smart guy too. He's a Civil War buff.
GEORGE: I'd love to be a Civil War buff. ... What do you have to do to be a buff
JERRY: So Biff wants to be a buff? ... Well sleeping less than 18 hours a day
would be a start.
GEORGE: ho ho ho ho. You know I only got two weeks left of unemployment. I got
to prove I've been looking for a job to get an extension
JERRY: Hey, should we say something to him?
GEORGE: Oh, yeah I'm sure he loves to hear from fans in the locker room.
JERRY: well he could say hello to me. I wouldn't mind.
GEORGE: He's Keith Hernandez. You're Jerry Seinfeld.
GEORGE: What are you comparing yourself to Keith Hernandez. The guys a baseball
player Jerry, Baseball!
JERRY: I know what he is. I recognized him. You didn't even notice him.
GEORGE: What, ... you are making some wisecracks in a night club... wo wo wo.
The guy was in game SIX two runs down two outs facing elimination.
KEITH: Excuse me. I don't want to disturb you, I'm Keith Hernandez and I just
want to tell you what a big fan I am. I love your comedy.
JERRY: Really?
KEITH: I've always wanted to do what you do.
JERRY: What I do? You are one of my favorite ball players of all time
GEORGE: Mine too.
KEITH: I love that bit about Jimmy Olson
JERRY: Thank you.
GEORGE: You know Keith, what I've always wondered, with all these ball clubs
flying around all season don't you think there would be a plane crash? ...
KEITH: (to Jerry) Do you perform anywhere in new York right now?
JERRY: I'm performing in this club on the east Side. You should come in.
GEORGE: But if you think about it...26 teams, 162 games a season, you'd think
eventually an entire team would get wiped out.
KEITH: You know, I live on the East Side.
JERRY: I'll tell you what, I'll give you my number and uh, just give me a call,
tell me whenever you want to go.
KEITH: or maybe just to get together for a cup of coffee
JERRY: Oh. that would be great.
GEORGE: Uh, it's only a matter of time.
KEITH: Who's this chucker?


[at Monks Diner]

JERRY: It's been three days and he hasn't called.
ELAINE: Well maybe you should call him.
JERRY: I can't ... I can't
ELAINE: Why not?
JERRY: I don't know. I just feel he should call me.
ELAINE: What's the difference?
JERRY: You don't understand, Elaine. I don't want to be overanxious. If he wants
to see me he has my number, he should call.
ELAINE: Yech, look at this ashtray. I hate cigarettes.
JERRY: I can't stand these guys. You give your number to them and then they
don't call. Why do they do that?
ELAINE: I'm sorry honey.
JERRY: I mean, I thought he liked me. I really thought he liked me. we were
getting along. He came over to me I didn't go over to him.
JERRY: Why did he come over to me if he didn't want to see me?
ELAINE: I know.
JERRY: What did he come over to me if he didn't want to see me? I mean here I
meet this guy this great guy, a baseball player, best guy I ever met in my life.
.. Well that's it. I'm never giving my number out to another guy again.
ELAINE: Sometimes I've given my number out to guys and it takes them a month to
JERRY: Hu, good, good,... well if he's calling in a month he's got a prayer!
ELAINE: You know maybe he's been busy. Maybe he's been out of town?
JERRY: Oh, they don't have phones out of town? Why do(?) people say they're
too busy. Too busy. Pick up a phone!! It takes two minutes. How can you be
too busy?
ELAINE: Why don't you just go ahead and call him?
JERRY: I can't call here, it's a coffee shop. I mean what am I going to say to
ELAINE: Just ask him if he wants a to get together.
JERRY: For what dinner?
ELAINE: Dinner's good.
JERRY: Don't you think that's coming on a little too strong? .. Isn't that like
a turn off?
ELAINE: Jerry, He's A GUY!
JERRY: ... this is all .. very confusing.

No comments:

Post a Comment